Showing posts from June, 2010

The Dark Inventory continued...

When I fly in the wind,
over and over again,
am I hoping to come down
somewhere different?

I awake to my roommate smashing his football cleats against the wall of our room to remove the mud. I slowly open my eyes to the disgusting rising sun. I could have swore I shut the blinds. I slowly lift my head and in a way am surprised I feel as good as I do. Just some cramping in the sides and a small headache. I survived once again. My roommate still continues to stain the wall with his mud filled spikes. I give him one of those "what the fuck" looks but he stares me down and continues. So I sigh and fall out of bed. My bedside alarm was obviously not set during the previous blur of a night, so I missed my first class of the day. Today though, class is not a priority. At this point, my college career is not about finding myself academically, its not about striving for some 4.0 grade point average, or defining myself with accumulative numbers and retain able knowledge. College is anothe…

Until the Heart Thaws...The Dark Inventory

Until the Heart Thaws
The Dark Inventory
God, Drugs, obsession, and the progression of the body and soul addiction.

For each of you I have a well constructed pedestal. I house and endless supply in my mind. I am the one at the base. You will see me there, below you. Your eyes will shift slightly down to catch a glimpse of the intensely bright medal I offer up to you. I have mounds of these symbolic medals to place around your neck, whenever you need that ego filled. I will even give you one without asking. If you happen to stumble upon this make shift life I live at the moment, you likely will receive many. They will get heavy though. They will weigh you down, because if you are around long enough you will realize you are wearing a part of me. I am the man in the corner watching his life progress and move towards. Just towards...something.
Waiting for the fill in life. Knowing details, but no genuine substance. I will feed off of you. A people succubus, lacking in so many ways. I …

Evolution into Atheism

Beautiful "GOD", the departure is terrifying. Seperating from your deceptive comfort can be agony. But your existance as a figure does not belong. The idea of you was given to me. I inherited your burden. I will not spend a life time liberating from your teeth, heavy grip. I may be automatically in the shadows in diffrent perspectives, but that is exactly it...your just a perspective. Your one of OUR creations and I yearned for understanding, we yearn for your answers. There are so many corners of our lives that scream agony. We need hope. This stupefied state the weight of the truth brings. Your image is glorified and truth is such a poor really is. It is dark, it is raw, it is real. I tried to hold on to you as long as I could. I loved the idea of you. I loved you. I don't know if I am ready for this departure, but I see too much now. I feel too much. This is a product of evolution, survival of the fitest on such a personal level. How…