Thursday, June 3, 2010

Evolution into Atheism

Beautiful "GOD", the departure is terrifying. Seperating from your deceptive comfort can be agony. But your existance as a figure does not belong. The idea of you was given to me. I inherited your burden. I will not spend a life time liberating from your teeth, heavy grip. I may be automatically in the shadows in diffrent perspectives, but that is exactly it...your just a perspective. Your one of OUR creations and I yearned for understanding, we yearn for your answers. There are so many corners of our lives that scream agony. We need hope. This stupefied state the weight of the truth brings. Your image is glorified and truth is such a poor competitor...it really is. It is dark, it is raw, it is real. I tried to hold on to you as long as I could. I loved the idea of you. I loved you. I don't know if I am ready for this departure, but I see too much now. I feel too much. This is a product of evolution, survival of the fitest on such a personal level. How can we explain everything without you filling out gaps? We are in such a hot and cold place. I have never felt so much until your depature. Some dark, some warm...but I feel now. Thats the change. I now have room to breath, to move...to feel, marvel at what we as a race have progressed into and accomplished. I don't turn to "your" words anymore. I turn to them, these other fellows I roam with. I am not going to ever again take anything away from us again. It may be agony at times, but my heart finally feels it all. No deception. I may be tempted to create a distracting image in times of pain when people may seem unappealing. But my heart tells me I need them...so I will turn to them. For real this time. And I now consider myself fortunate to really be awake...

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